Ridley Scott’s long-awaited Prometheus opened in theatres last weekend to audiences so excited they went out in droves to a midnight showing in Cineworld. I was among this crowd, and I’m happy to say that the superstar director and stellar cast provided a cinematic experience worth all the fuss and more.
At 22 I stand as a young woman, comfortable in her own skin, comfortable with her own body; leading a satisfying sex life, and always having done since losing my virginity at the comfortable age of eighteen.
But how I got here is unknown to me when I look back at the discourses of sexuality that surrounded me. I grew up in a staunchly catholic town where sex was either not spoken about at all or spoken about in purely negative terms. It was a dirty word, always given dirty and awkward connotations, to be reserved for marriage only and never even thought about before then.
In school we were given one night of sex education at the end of primary school, and a few scare mongering STD talks in secondary school. At that first sex education night in fifth class a girl asked a very simple question. She asked what a blow job was. The audience giggled and there was an awkward shuffled response from my teachers and the woman who had been brought in to offer us this ‘education’. When she did speak she made a joke and avoided the question, by talking about how glass is made, those ‘blow jobs’. Later that evening when I asked an adult what a blow job is, it was explained in technical terms, while they also qualified it, by explaining that it was something cheap, dirty girls did.
Movie Fest 2012- Announcements, Trailers, Previews, Paranorman, Stitches, Perfect Pitch, Premium Rush, Hit and Run and Looper
By far the most exciting announcement coming from Movie Fest 2012 for Irish cinephiles (those who inhabit Dublin in particular) is that soon Ireland will have our very own imax theatre in the beloved Cineworld Dublin. On the Irish film scene otherwise, Lenny Abrahamson’s ‘What Richard did’ looks to be difficult (in a good way) and captivating and Neil Jordan appears to be bringing us another exciting development in a return to the vampire genre. ‘Byzantium’ looks like a refreshing change to recent vampire fiction, employing feminist ideals (at least in the trailer). Unfortunately I cannot say the trailer for a new Australian film starring Chris O Dowd, ‘The Sapphires’ excited me in any way. That said, we all know how misleading trailers can be.
In international stakes, my jaw hung open during the entire ‘Life of Pi’ preview. The CGI is like nothing seen before (particularly the amazingly life-like CGI tiger), and the visuals in the shipwreck scene captured the vast, terrifying nature of the sea. This is a film not to be seen on a small screen. The other lengthy preview movie festers were treated to was the seasonal children’s film ‘Rise of the Guardians’. The first ten to fifteen minutes appeared to be standard children’s fare, entirely unsuitable for the movie fest audience, so it came as a surprise when the preview ended, there was an audible ‘awwww’ from the audience. This film is sweet, funny, and entertaining. A perfect family film, I just can’t wait to watch the whole thing with my nieces. On the other hand, Tinkerbell was just that- entirely unsuitable for the audience. I have no idea why the trailer was shown. On the upside it did become the running in-joke of the festival.
Last Christmas I bought my younger cousin/adopted little sister the book ‘From me to me‘ based on the idea of, ‘If you could write a letter to your 16-year-old self, from the perspective of who you are now, what would you say?’. An inspiring read, she returned the gift in kind by giving me ‘Dear Me: A Letter to my Sixteen Year Old Self‘ this Christmas. Both books are collections of letters written by the world’s best-loved personalities to their younger selves.
As per usual with things that inspire me, I just couldn’t keep it to myself. So as a taster, here are a few of my favourite quotes:
You will meet an incredible woman, and the choice to marry her will be the easiest choice of your life. Just listen to your gut.
You do not have to marry the first man you sleep with
I sat in the Station, held my head in my hands and willed the time to pass so I could get home and just cry. I had bumped into someone who knew us as a couple. She didn’t know we weren’t a ‘we’ anymore. I told her about how amicably things ended and how we were still friends…. Well, until recently when things had become a little more ‘complicated’; I delicately explained. I tried to keep a strong poker face as I told her the second part, as thoughts filled my head of how much had changed since I saw her last. How somebody who was, (and still is) so important to me was now another ‘Somebody That I Used to Know’ (not quite that distant and disconnected, but not much closer). But knowing me (and my massive give-away eyes), it all showed. I could see the car crash expression on her face.
I still thought I was fine until I walked away and thoughts were all I was left with. And suddenly my whole body felt wrong and as if I’d been punched in the stomach. I had to concentrate on just breathing. It was at this point I thought of my biggest crutch through this whole upheaval- my music, and particularly Ingrid Michaelson: ‘All I can do is Keep Breathing’.
The Trip I imagined
When I imagined this American trip, I imagined myself blogging a hell of a lot more than I have done. I mean, what a writing opportunity. Travelling The United States. I imagined myself writing something in the vein of the documentary which inspired this trip in the first place; Stephen Fry in America.
That didn’t happen. But I would like to begin by saying that I am not disappointed with myself. I mean yeah, a part of me wishes I had, I’m not going to lie. If I wanted to, I could beat myself up about it. I’m choosing not to because I recognise the uniqueness of the situation I find myself in.
What is probably going to be one of the biggest things that’s ever going to happen to me(at least in a personal sense) JUST happened. I mean, it’s been less than 4 months. That’s the blink of an eye. Particularly when we’re talking about a context of four years. For those of you who haven’t been reading, my boyfriend (who I was pretty sure was going to be my husband one day) broke up with me. After four years. So I travelled America with him (as you do). See blog below for details.
Between the time we broke up and the time we left for America I focused all my energies on myself, and on having a good time. I figured I needed to do the first part purely and simply for the good of my mental health; and the second because I figured regardless of how good I felt (and I did, surprisingly so) it was always going to take time. And in that time I wasn’t going to sit around and mope- I was going to go out and make the most of it (once again see below).
I guess in my head America would be different. I’d go straight into tourist/journalist mode and see and experience everything possible; recording and analysing every minute of it as I went. Once again, great and all as that would’ve been, it wasn’t very realistic. Sure, if Rudi and I were still together and nothing had ever happened I’m pretty sure that would’ve been my trip. There would’ve been ten times more photos and ten times more updates. But what my trip actually became was what I needed. This trip was in large part down to wonderful people I met as a result of one fateful night in Stockholm. The section below details this, but do feel free to skip onto the next one!